Provisions For The Mind War: The Natural Products Of Infowars

“There’s a war on for your mind.” It’s an expression I’m sure you are all very familiar with. The expression has been around for quite some time. Its origins are unclear, but we know this much. It was even in the title of a rap song. And it is a phrase that Alex Jones of Infowars is extremely fond of throwing around. He has used it on his radio show and he is now using it as part of Infowars’ marketing efforts. The phrase is emblazoned across several of the products in Infowars’ official online store.

The phrase rings true, we are most certainly facing a constant barrage of metaphorical mind bullets. Advertising, entertainment, politics, and propaganda of all stripes vie for our attention and seek to leave great footprints on our consciousness. Perhaps you’ve found yourself driving along and, out of nowhere, you begin to hum the melodic phrase, “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!” Or maybe you’re hanging out with your girlfriend and, apropos of nothing, you look at her and say, “Love. It’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru.” This is how it happens. You get brainwashed without even knowing it.

What you’re doing right now is a form of brainwashing in and of itself. After you read this, regardless of your feelings about what you’ve read, whether negative or positive, you will go off and engage in whatever activities you get up to…but at some point, you will find yourself thinking about Infowars or brainwashing or Subarus or rap music. Our brains are tender, sensitive organs, ones that are extremely absorbent. And it doesn’t take much to penetrate them.

Alex Jones knows this. Infowars know this. And that’s why they’ve come out with a line of products designed to target those people who regularly tune in to the Infowars program and absorb all the info they dish out. If you’re a fan of Infowars, you probably believe in chem trails and the Illuminati. You probably feel sick about the state of the world. And you probably believe yourself to be a soldier on the front line of the battle of the brain. Well, Jones has got you covered, you little patriot. The following is a list of Infowars’ proprietary formulas for your revolutionary needs.

Under their Health & Wellness page, they offer everything from high-powered coffee alternatives to water filtration items. They include all of the following and more:


You read that right, Infowars Life ™ has come out with something for the kiddies. Billed as “a special blend of herbs that has been specifically designed to soothe the mind and bodies of children,” Child Ease is said to support calm focused attention in tykes everywhere. Apparently, Alex Jones and his people think they know what your little brats need to behave better and calm down. Anyone who has listened to Alex Jones’ radio show knows his stance on ADHD medications and he’s hardly wrong.

In 2004 alone, there were twenty reported deaths from Adderall use. Adderall is one of the more prevalent drugs used to treat ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Of those twenty deaths, sixteen of them were in children.

So along Jones comes with Child Ease which is a proprietary formula consisting of essential oils of anise, cloves, and cinnamon. The product also contains “soothing” botanicals like chamomile, lemon balm, and catnip. That’s right, catnip, the stuff you give your cat as a treat…the stuff that makes your cat go freakin’ nuts for five minutes before lapsing into a state of dazed inertia. Why Infowars Life ™ would include something like catnip in a supplement for kids is mind-boggling, to say the least, and disturbing to state the obvious. But Child Ease is alcohol-free…so it’s got that going for it…which is good.

Cat, nay, Child Ease also consists of hawthorn, zizyphus, gotu kola extract, and amla. Most likely, you have never heard of any of these tonifiers. If you did, you would know that hawthorn can cause dizziness, nausea and heart palpitations, hardly symptoms that lend themselves to relieving anxiety and confusion in kids.

Zizyphus is a Chinese herb which improves muscle strength and is used as a sleep aid. It has also been implemented to prevent liver disease and stress ulcers. Of the ingredients in Child Ease, this is, perhaps, the best one as it relieves fatigue, fever, and inflammation.

Gotu Kola Extract is mutually valuable as it improves mental clarity and facilitates the reversal of many conditions.

Amla, an Ayurvedic herb, unlocks many great benefits including a better metabolism, better digestion, and protection of the heart and respiratory system.

But the question is, how do you know whether this is an ideal fit for your children? Granted, if you are the sort of parent who blindly allows a doctor to prescribe your kid a dangerous Big Pharma drug like Adderall, you likely don’t have any authority to decide what’s good or bad for them, but if you’re the type of person who is reading up on nootropics, you probably don’t fall into that category.

On the contrary, you are likely a responsible person who wishes to find something organic and safe for your child’s consumption. In that case, Infowars Life ™ ‘s Child Ease may be the right formula for you. However, it is imperative that you conduct your own independent research into all the ingredients that compose this blend.


Cocoa Mojo is 100% certified organic cocoa powder and, according to Infowars Life ™ ‘s website, it is designed to help support your immune system. Sweetened with coconut palm sugar, Cocoa Mojo contains mushrooms that allegedly promote immunological health. These include Grifola Frondosa or “the dancing mushroom,” which regulate blood pressure and have a damning effect on damaging free radicals. It also contains Coriolis Versicolor, a fungus that helps fight cancer and which has been used to treat everything from CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) to Hepatitis.

Cocoa Mojo stands out among Infowars Life ™ ‘s product line because its contents are all of high medical value. There are irrefutable therapeutic benefits to just about everything in this powder.


This is where shit gets more than a little ridiculous. Combat One Field Foam is billed as a military grade all-purpose skin cleanser, conditioner and protector. Infowars claims that Field Foam provides broad-spectrum hygiene management and reduces odor while optimizing skin and muscle function. It’s a bold claim and one that they do nothing to back up with hard evidence. Nowhere on their website do they tell you what is in their Field Foam, only that you should apply it three to four times a day! What they do tell you is that this is Pentagon technology now at your very own fingertips. All of it’s weird and kind of perplexing.

What’s not weird is Alex Jones endorsing a line of nootropics and what not. I mean, it was only a matter of time before the guy who rails against the ersatz nature of America and its many poisonous food additives and pollutants came out with something to counteract all of that synthetic, processed garbage. But some of it is really beyond the pale.


As anyone who’s ever lived in Flint, Michigan can tell you, water is poison and bureaucrats are purveyors of death. What’s more, the contents of common household soaps and shampoos are deleterious at best. So, along comes Infowars with a worthy alternative that’s “100% body safe.”

Tactical Bath, like Field Foam, is said to be highly versatile, offering broad spectrum hygiene management, odor elimination, and skin and muscle optimization. Each “bath” contains eight pre-moistened cloths that supposedly leave your skin feeling refreshed. Again, what is on the cloth is not listed on Infowars Life ™ ‘s web page.


Wake up, America! That’s what each bag of Patriot Blend 100% Organic Coffee screams on its packaging. And I’m guessing that’s what it will help you do. This medium roast of shade-grown Arabica beans is USDA-approved and comes in a one-pound bag. It is gourmet and it is supposedly Alex Jones’ personal favorite cup o’ joe.

“I do not experience the headaches and other negative effects that are usually associated with caffeinated coffee blends,” Jones says on the product’s page.

Whether any or all of this is true is anyone’s guess, but one thing is for sure. Alex Jones is nothing if not a salesman on a par with P.T. Barnum or the Ringling Bros.

There are many sights and delights on Infowars’ website with products that include viable alternatives to the crap the mainstream hurls at us—Super Blue Fluoride-Free Toothpaste is one of them. Other natural items include liver support liquids and oil of oregano. Many of these fine products are healthy and helpful, but as with Infowars itself, some of it is just straight up bullshit.

With this in mind, consumers should think before swallowing it. Everyone should see what’s on the end of their fork. For this reason, you should vet these products the way you vet your news. Be safe and be smart and question everything. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, indeed.


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